Tell a person in your life to "EAT A DICK" in the best way possible way. CARD READS:FRONT: "I like You How I Like My Christmas Tree"INSIDE: "Erect"MATERIAL DETAILS:CARD SIZE:...

Trust us, size doesn't always matter! These teenie weenies are perfectly circumferenced to accommodate all beverage vessel types! Be it a beer bottle, can, wine glass, or your trusty mug, protect...

Because boring old confetti just isn't cocky enough! Jazz up your tables and spreads with this one of kind and oh so cocky, cockfetti! 

Not crazy about this ornament? Make like Santa at a strip club, and take a look around. Our horny elves have been working nonstop on all sorts of unique Christmas...

Email us what you'd like your cock to say!

"All I want for Christmas Is Your Dick" Greeting Card

“MERRY CHRISTMAS...I GOT YOU A PRESENT” Perfect addition to any DicksByMail.com product this Christmas season. As seen on Saturday Night Live, send your friends or (fr)enemies a Dick in a...

The Original Chocolate Dick Prank.  This is exactly what you have been searching for, we promise. Back in 2016, we were just a couple of 20 somethings making funny dick...

Tell someone to "EAT A DICK" in the best way possible! This original greeting card pops open with a 3D penis and the message "EAT A DICK". Like any of...

Tell someone to "EAT A DICK" in the best way possible this Valentines Day! This original greeting card pops open with a 3D penis and the message "EAT A DICK"....

Four truffle chocolates -100% vegan, fair trade, organic, and paleo.  Naturally gluten free, unlike the real thing, so dive in!