The Christmas Dick Shop 4.7 (390 reviews)

Mix any gifts below. Save up to 25%.

No sender name · Plain packaging · USPS says ship by Dec 17 for Christmas

  1. 15% off at $75about 5 gifts
  2. 20% off at $150about 10 gifts
  3. 25% off at $250about 15 gifts

Build their Christmas box

Pre-order4.7 (339)

Bag of Dicks gummies

$16.00/bag

Merry Christmas. Eat a bag of dicks.

10 fruity gummy dicks, about 2.5 inches each, in a resealable bag.

Design: ChristmasPre-order

Pre-order Ships by Dec 5 or sooner

If your box has a pre-order item, the whole box waits and ships together. Need other gifts sooner? Order them separately.

How many bags
1

Details & reviews

A funny Christmas gift for adults that actually fits in a stocking. Each resealable 5 oz bag holds 10 fruity gummy dicks, about 2.5 inches each. The Christmas bag comes with red and green gummies and says it plainly: Merry Christmas, eat a bag of dicks.

Ship it straight to a friend, coworker or Secret Santa with no sender name and no return address that points at you, or send it to yourself to hand over. Our best-selling gag gift for white elephant swaps and office parties. Purchaser and recipient must be 18+.

All 339 reviews and full details →
4.3 (36)

The Chocolate D

$23.99/box

Your stocking isn't the only thing hung around here.

A solid 5.5-inch chocolate D (6–8 oz, not hollow) in a gift box that looks like something thoughtful. Until they open it.

Box: Hung Stockings Christmas

How many boxes
1

Details & reviews

A chocolate Christmas gag gift that looks like a real present. A solid 5.5-inch chocolate D, 6–8 oz and not hollow, in a gift box that looks thoughtful until the lid comes off. Pick the Hung Stockings Christmas or Christmas Santa box to make it a stocking stuffer.

Ships with no sender name, so it works as an anonymous prank or a Secret Santa gift. It's real chocolate, so they can eat it.

All 36 reviews and full details →
Pre-order

Eat My Ass

$19.99/box

Specialty holiday chocolates. Very special.

Four milk chocolate treats in a gift box. Pick the sleeve it ships in.

Sleeve: Merry ChristmasPre-order

Pre-order Ships by Dec 5 or sooner

If your box has a pre-order item, the whole box waits and ships together. Need other gifts sooner? Order them separately.

How many boxes
1

Details

Holiday chocolates with a message. Four milk chocolate treats in a gift box that looks like a proper box of holiday chocolates. The Merry Christmas sleeve is green and gold and stocking-ready, right up until they read it.

Shipped with no sender name, so they never know who to thank. A funny Christmas gift for coworkers, in-laws and white elephant exchanges.

Full product page →

Eat Shit

$18.99/box

Funnier than coal in their stocking.

Coal says you're on the naughty list. This says it better: a milk chocolate poop in a gift box with EAT SHIT printed inside the lid.

Box: Original

How many boxes
1

Details & reviews

Funnier than coal in their stocking. A milk chocolate poop boxed up like a real Christmas present, with EAT SHIT printed inside the lid. They open it, they get the message, and they never find out it was you.

Ships in plain outer packaging with no sender name or return address that points at you. Totally edible, so they can take your advice literally.

All 4 reviews and full details →
4.4 (11)

Cockshot

$23.99/shot

The snake-in-a-can prank, upgraded.

Looks like an innocent tin of treats. They pop the lid and a long spring-loaded pecker shoots straight out at them.

How many shots
1

Details & reviews

The snake-in-a-can prank, upgraded for Christmas. It looks like an innocent tin of treats. They pop the lid and a long spring-loaded pecker shoots straight out at them.

Hand it over at the holiday party, slip it under the tree, or ship it to them with no sender name. A classic gag gift for the person who has everything.

All 11 reviews and full details →

Christmas Glitter Cannon

$21.99/cannon

Looks like incense. Is not incense.

They pop the lid and a spring fires red and green Christmas confetti all over the room. Add dicks if you're feeling festive.

Fill: Just Christmas

How many cannons
1

Details

A Christmas confetti cannon disguised as incense. It arrives in a convincing tube labelled as incense. The second they pop the lid, a spring fires a burst of red and green Christmas confetti across the room.

Want it naughtier? Pick a fill with dick or jizz confetti mixed in. Ships with no sender name. Purchaser and recipient must be 18+.

Full product page →

Pick their card

Merry Christmas

Glitter bomb

Glitter bomb card · $9.99

Stay Classy

Glitter bomb

Glitter bomb card · $10.99

Glitter goes off when they open it.

The Weather Outside

Glitter bomb

Glitter bomb card · $9.99

Questions

Will they know it's from me?

No. It ships in plain outer packaging with no sender name and no return address that points at you.

Can I ship it to myself instead?

Yes. Send it to yourself and hand it over, or straight to them with no sender name on the package.

How does the box discount work?

Everything on this page counts toward one box discount: $75 of gifts (about 5) takes 15% off the whole box, $150 (about 10) takes 20% off, and $250 (about 15) takes 25% off. The bar at the bottom shows how close you are, and the discount goes on at checkout by itself. Packs and bundles from other pages don't count toward it.

Will it arrive by Christmas?

We ship from Watertown, NY. USPS scans the package in about a day after it leaves us, then USPS Ground Advantage usually takes 2–5 days, and the holiday rush adds time. USPS's own cutoff for Christmas delivery is December 17 (Ground Advantage) or December 18 (Priority Mail), so order before that, and the earlier the better. We can't promise a delivery date in December.