Stay Classy This Christmas, Santa Doesn’t Need Anymore Hos Never Ending Sound Card

Make a splash this holiday season with the most annoying card you can buy.  Over four hours of looping sounds that can only be stopped when destroyed.  The best part?  When the recipient destroys the card…it drops glitter EVERYWHERE.

Shipping Anonymously (or not if you like to life dangerously) from our secret warehouse in San Diego, CA, the Never Ending Christmas Card is guaranteed to create a Scrooge this holiday season.  All the laughs

***REMINDER*** if ordered “activated” the card will deploy the next time it is opened.  That means you’ll have an ear full of porn moans for 4+ hours if you’re not careful.  If you plan on writing a note on the inside, make sure to order “not activated”

Holidays are hard.  Sitting in your room listening to The Black Parade while secretly wishing mom and dad loved you more openly.  No one has money and Covid has kicked us square in the dick for 9 months straight.  2020 can suck a dick, right? 

The PS5 aint coming this year, but that’s okay!  We have just the card that says “Happy Holidays” the right way.

The NSFW Merry Christmas Card from Dick At Your Door is the perfectly balanced card for Grandma, the office party, Mom and Dad, or…well…anyone.

Made from heavy Card Stock, these babies pack a punch and will survive hanging on the Christmas tree until you need them

Only available THIS Holiday Season so don’t drag your dick in the mud on this one.